S2E18 – Brian Bogert – How embracing pain can pay off big

Brian Bogert – How embracing pain can pay off big. We all have fought or are fighting a battle right now. The question is, how do you not only get through it but embrace it. Downtimes in life are not meant to last, they are meant to prepare you for something better. My next guest shares his story of losing his arm at a young age and thereafter creating a life of purpose. If you’re an investor or entrepreneur who’s looking to change their outlook, elevate their expectations, and generate peace of mind at the same time, this episode is for you. Please welcome Brian Bogert.

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Payback Time Podcast

[00:00:03.430] – Intro

Payback Time is a podcast about building businesses, wealth and financial freedom. We try to uncover the challenges our guests faced, the mistakes they made and the steps they took to achieve their goals. The overall objective is to provide you with a roadmap that leads to your own success. Sean Tepper is your host. Are you ready? It’s payback time.

[00:00:33.330] – Sean

We all have fought.

[00:00:34.490] – Sean

We are fighting a battle right now. The question is, how do you not only get through it, but embrace it?

[00:00:41.110] – Sean

Down times in life are not meant to last.

[00:00:43.140] – Sean

They are meant to prepare you for something better.

[00:00:45.840] – Sean

My next guest shares the story of losing his arm at a young age.

[00:00:49.320] – Sean

And thereafter creating a life of purpose.

[00:00:52.830] – Sean

If you’re an investor or entrepreneur who is looking to change their outlook, elevate their expectations and generate peace of mind at the same time, this episode is for you. Please welcome Brian Bogen. Brian, welcome to the show, man.

[00:01:07.460] – Brian

Sean, I’m happy to be here, brother. Thanks for having me.

[00:01:09.220] – Sean

Glad to have you here. So why don’t you kick us off.

[00:01:11.470] – Sean

And tell us a little bit about your background?

[00:01:13.920] – Brian

Yeah. So I’m going to start us off in a place that I’m sure many of you point aren’t expecting. And I’m actually going to ask you and everybody who’s listening to close your eyes for just a minute. Unless you’re driving, of course, while listening to this. Please keep your eyes open for that. I want you to imagine going to a store, having a successful shopping trip, breezing through the checkout line, walking out the door. You’ve got a pep in your step because you already feel the momentum in your day. You look up and you see the sun and feel the sun and the warmth on your skin. You feel the wind blow through your hair. And as you’re approaching your car, you reach down to grab your keys. And as you’re fumbling for them to get them in the door, to unlock your car and go on with your day, you turn your head and you see a truck barreling 40 miles an hour right at you. With no time to react, go ahead and open your eyes. So this portion of my story begins. My mum, my brother and I went to a local Walmart to get a one inch paint brush.

[00:01:55.250] – Brian

And as we were headed back to the car, anybody who’s known me for more than about two and a half seconds now, I’ve had an excitement bigger for life. I talk fast, I walked fast. So it wasn’t a surprise that I was the first one to the car. I wanted to get home and put that paintbrush to use. But this was back in the days before there was key fob. So I had to wait for Alan to literally reach in her purse, grab the keys, get up to the door, stick it in the door and turn the keys. So we can go out of their way. And as I was standing there waiting for her to catch up, there was a truck that pulled up in front of the store. Driver and middle passenger got out, and the passenger, all the way to the right, felt the truck moving backwards. So he did what any one of us would do, Sean. He scooted over, his foot on the brake, but he instead hit the gas. Combination of shock and force threw him up on the steering wheel, up on the dashboard, and before you know it, he’s got a bolting 40 miles an hour across the parking lot right at us.

[00:02:35.180] – Brian

With no time to react. Now, we were in an end spot. He went up to the media in the end spot, went up under the tree in the end spot, hit our car, knocked me over, ran over me, diagonally, tearing my spleen, leaving a tire. Truck started on my stomach and continuing on to completely sever my left arm from my body. August 10, 1992. 115 degree day. Mom and brother watch the whole thing happen. They look down, they see me laying on the ground. They look up, and they see my arm laying 10ft away. Fortunately for me, my guardian angel also saw the whole thing happen. And I always have to include her in this story because she walked out of the store, a nurse, and saw the literal life and limb scenario in front of her, and she chose to go into action versus going on with her day. And I’m forever indebted. She came over, and she stopped the bleeding on the main wound, and she saved my life. And she instructed some innocent bystanders to run inside, grab a cooler, fill it with ice, and get an attached limb on ice within minutes to give me a fighting chance of having a reattached arm.

[00:03:27.270] – Brian

So had she not been there that day, had she not chosen to go into action, I either wouldn’t be here with you today, Sean, or I’d be here with you today with a cleanup. That’s just the reality. And so I know that many of your audience was not expecting it to go there today. Yes, I have a very unique story. But what I’ve learned in all my time of doing this, my friend, is that we all have unique stories. What’s important is that we learn to pause and become aware of the lessons we can extract from our stories and then become intentional with how we apply them in our lives. And so I will unpack for you, I’m sure, through the course of today, some of those core key life philosophies. But I spent 15 years in risk management employee benefit consulting, where we applied these and grew a very successful risk management employee benefit consulting firm to over 15 million within the span of a decade. And now, today, I’m traveling the world, working with organizations and individuals just like you just like the people listening to more aware, more intentional, and who they already are, their most authentic selves.

[00:04:18.470] – Brian

See, I believe that joy, freedom and fulfillment can be aligned when we actually shed the layers of armor and get back to the core of who we are before the world told us who to be. And that’s why we’re on a mission to impact a billion lives as quickly as possible. Because I genuinely believe that that’s the path to freedom for all of us is building a world where my kids can stand on their own 2ft not only competent but convicted in who they are, knowing that the world won’t just accept them, but will embrace them for exactly who they are. That’s what I’m after today, my friend, is to make sure everybody can feel that way.

[00:04:43.490] – Sean

Thank you for sharing your background here and this podcast. As the listeners know, we’re primarily focused on building wealth through investing to take a step back. We help people get acclimated to the stock market and become confident. But there’s also a lot of people in this audience that are building businesses and there’s a foundation of confidence in life that I think a lot of people, they get distracted, they get deterred and pushed away. You were set up in a position where almost the underhand in this case, and you just rose above it. There’s a mental state you got yourself to and I think it’d be a lot of fun to dive into that. And some of the principles you mentioned, I’d love to talk about that more because I think we can help a lot of these listeners, whether they’re investing or building a business. There’s going to be trying times in life, like right now as investors, the market down, we can get worried. And of course there’s entrepreneurs that are trying to build a business and there’s dark days. How do you get through those? So where do you want to start from here?

[00:05:47.220] – Sean

I’m totally open. This is awesome.

[00:05:49.060] – Brian

The more you talk, the more I actually think where I want to start is one of my core foundational lessons, which I think is very applicable to investing. It’s very applicable to wealth generation, it’s very applicable to everything we do. And this one didn’t develop right away. It happened when I was a little kid, but ultimately, although I was the one going through the procedures, although I was the one having surgeries and having all these things happen to me, I was being guided and stewarded through the process. But my parents were intimately aware of the unceasing medical treatments, years of physical therapy, and the idea of seeing their son at seven at the time grow up with that. The use of his left arm was a source of great potential suffering for them. So they will themselves day in and day out to do what was necessary, to do what was tough, to embrace the pains required to ultimately strengthen and heal me. So this core philosophy developed, so it didn’t come out right away. I learned to embrace pain to avoid suffering and I believe that’s also where we gain freedom. So it’s important, if we actually understand what this looks like, to recognize that this truly can apply to everything in our life.

[00:06:45.540] – Brian

Obviously wealth building and business building as well. Because, see, the world tells us to reduce, eliminate or avoid pain at all costs. And it makes sense because it’s a natural evolutionary response to survival, right? 100 years ago, you cut your leg, you could die. But that’s not necessarily the world most of us live in today. So if we understand this right, let’s first start by defining some pain and suffering. Because I think it’s really important to understand the distinction and then we can take it from there to talk about what this looks true. But pain is defined as short term, intermittent, a direct cause from something and alleviated. Once that direct cause is removed. Then we as human beings screwed up like we do everything else by putting adjectives in front of it which changed the definition. We’ve all heard of acute pain and chronic pain now acute maintains the definition, but chronic inherently changes it because it implies that it’s no longer short term and it persists after that dirt causes removed. So let’s stop calling that chronic pain and start calling it what it really is suffering. Reality is we don’t want to admit that suffering exists, particularly when it’s a direct result of our choices.

[00:07:43.110] – Brian

Whereas pain gets lots of attention because we feel it. It’s real time. It’s right there. Suffering creeps up on us often where we adapt to it, sometimes until its effects are irreversible. So what does this look like? In practice? We can embrace the pain of hitting the gym for 30 minutes a day to avoid the suffering of aches and pains of a sedentary lifestyle. We can embrace the pain of a difficult conversation with a loved one or spouse to avoid the suffering of a loveless marriage that’s going to end in divorce or being stuck in a marriage when you want divorce. We can embrace the pain of the fit our kids throw by having them put down their mobile devices at the dinner table towards the suffering of years of lost. Meaningful connection and conversation will never get back. As business owners, we can embrace the pain of firing our top salesperson to avoid the suffering of stagnant growth and losing our other top talent because they were the greatest cancer in our culture. We can embrace the pain of recognizing that an investment vehicle might not be the one that aligns with us to avoid the suffering of losing everything that we’ve ever had because we didn’t actually go into it with due diligence and understanding of where to line for our lives.

[00:08:40.470] – Brian

The reality of this applies in everything in our lives. And so I’m a big believer that we almost choose our pain or our suffering will choose us. And as you can see, this applies to every category in life.

[00:08:50.070] – Sean

Great point. There’s a lot of people out there that are trying to avoid pain and suffering, yet they make quick decisions, emotional decisions that create shortterm pain and longterm suffering.

[00:09:05.590] – Brian

That’s right.

[00:09:07.470] – Sean

I see this a lot. I see this a lot with investors right now. I’m talking to a few of our customers that they want to sell. They’re experiencing the pain in this market, but I’m telling them, don’t sell right now.

[00:09:18.690] – Brian

You’ll suffer if you do.

[00:09:20.210] – Sean

Yeah, exactly. You’re going to look at that loss for a long time. So you got to write out the storm. When it comes to building businesses, I think this is a good question for our entrepreneurial audience is when you’re facing those dark days, how do you get yourself to focus on that long term and accept that temporary pain?

[00:09:40.470] – Brian

Yeah, so that’s a great question. And in fact, it’s actually the very first step that we typically will teach people around this concept is that we have to acknowledge the suffering we wish to avoid. And that sounds like counterintuitive is like, wait a minute, Brian, you want me to focus on pain? You want me to focus on suffering? Yeah, I do. Because most of our world teaches us just to focus on the hope, focus on the desire, focus on the dream. But the reality of it is not only are we insufficient at doing that because most people go set, plan and do those things in a way that, first of all, they protect themselves, so they fall to the lowest common denominator. But second of all, the reality of it is we are moved by the things that we want to avoid as much as the things we want to go towards, and the gift isn’t a greater. So we have to acknowledge that suffering first. Right. So great example, and I’m going to use a non business example for a second, and I’ll loop it back to a business example. Okay. I’ve got a client.

[00:10:26.950] – Brian

He’s 38 years old. He moved 26 times before the time he was 18. Now, he never lived in the same place twice, never had the same set of friends twice. He lived between his mom, his grandma, his aunt, and his dad literally for 18 years. Moved 26 times. Right. So to say that this guy didn’t learn how to give or receive love, didn’t have any kind of consistent, established self, and the idea of being on the road any time things got tough is like, really what his life was all about. Fast forward today he’s 38. He has a wife and two beautiful girls, and he recognizes that he is not the man husband and father that he always wanted to be and that his business is not in a place that he always wanted it to go. And so he had to start by recognizing that acknowledging the suffering he wishes to avoid is the fact that a life without his girls, his wife, would be pure suffering regardless of financial success, regardless of investing. And so he then has to go back and look at that hope and desire and recognize that he can sit and envision a life with his wife sitting on their farm at age 80 in Texas with the wind blowing through the brush.

[00:11:24.570] – Brian

And the only thing breaking the silence is the laughter of his kids and his grandkids. And when he can take that purpose and burn it into his soul, it becomes big enough to overtake the pains required to become the husband, man, and father that he needs to be to put the healing in place, to learn how to shed those layers and move through. And it just so happens that if we understand that money and investing is also a form of energy, when we are protecting ourselves and we’re guarding ourselves, when we carry ego, when we carry insecurity, when we carry scarcity, we are actually energetically pushing money away from us in our lives. And so part of the best ways for us to recognize how do we actually grow in our lives holistically, including financial and investing, is to recognize that we have to understand where we’re being blocked, where we’re guarding based on the emotional triggers, behavioral patterns, and environmental conditions in our lives. And so in this case, he’s got a car dealership that he wants to learn, grow and scale. He had to put in over 18 months of personal work to create the foundation necessary for him to be the man that could fulfill the needs of that business and the husband and father to fulfill the needs of his family.

[00:12:22.400] – Brian

But as he’s further connected with himself because he understood what suffering looks like, he’s actually built a vehicle for him that actually is going to create perpetual wealth in the growth of his business and provide stability for his family. So he had to understand that suffering and every single day because he understood the purpose that was connected to that. The moment that he doesn’t want to get up and do it, he understands the suffering he wishes to avoid. The next step is the answer to your question how do we identify the pains we tend to avoid and learn to embrace them? Otherwise, suffering develops. Right now, I’ll use an example for myself, and then I’ll give a really relevant one for a business person. Look, I don’t have a tricep in my arm. I don’t have a lat on the left side of my back. I have an imbalance in my spine that causes regular, inconsistent physical pain. I used to define it as chronic pain, but really it got to a place where I was suffering because it was debilitating in my life. About 20 years ago, I learned that if I stayed lean, if I had a strong core strength, I could keep movement in place, I had good muscular structure, and I could stay flexible, that I could mitigate that suffering to a daily manageable pain.

[00:13:19.760] – Brian

So what I do, I went and I joined the gym. Just like every one of us, right? If I’m going to get healthy, I’m going to go join a gym. And I went consistently for 30 days. Sean, I crushed it, brother. Like, it was good. But then I stopped going. Now, I’d already acknowledged the suffering I wish to avoid because I felt the debilitation of my life. So this next step became easier. I had to ask myself an additional question, right? Had I looked at it just from a strategy and tactical perspective, I might have said, well, this isn’t the gym for me. Maybe I’ll go join Orange Theory, or I’ll join the Cycle Bar. I’ll join whatever, right? But the reality is, the things that keep us stuck are not the wrong strategy and tactics in our lives. It’s a combination of the emotional triggers, behavioral patterns, and environmental conditions. The next question I have to ask you is what are the pains that I’m avoiding? Is it the pain of working out that I’m avoiding? Is it the pain of lifting weights that I’m avoiding? Is it the pain of stretching that I’m avoiding?

[00:14:00.590] – Brian

Or is it the anxiety I get in a crowded gym? What I started to realize is that the anxiety in the crowded gym actually allowed and impacted my performance. So I had to acknowledge that, and I had to embrace the pain of actually building out a home gym to create the environment for my success. I was working with a client not that long ago, really successful businesswoman, incredible at identifying issues that are going on in people’s businesses, understanding how to outline solutions for them, understanding how to bring the right partners, whether it was hers or others, to the table to be able to solve the problems for her clients. But she had this perpetual hesitation to pick up that 500 pound telephone now we just outlined. She understands the whole process of building a relationship, identifying the opportunity and delivering through it. And so when we started to actually recognize that the pain that she was tending to avoid around picking up that 500 pound telephone was rooted in the fact that she actually was afraid of what it would look like if she was successful, because she hadn’t built up the systems and the processes and her team to be able to scale beyond what she was able to manage.

[00:14:56.530] – Brian

So every time she picked the phone, she viewed it as giving herself work. And so every time she viewed it as giving herself work, she started leveraging herself down. And so she never picked up that 500 pound telephone. But when we started to realize it was connected to shame for her and we moved this into a place of conscious awareness. All of a sudden, she could make the changes necessary to build the systems and processes, have the confidence to actually deliver on that. Now, that phone doesn’t weigh £500 anymore. And the last step in this is something that you and I talked about, right, for the call, is to establish as a habit in every area of our life. The reality of it is, we know that experts in habit formation even use this terminology. They call it an upfront energy tax, which implies there’s a cost, there’s an expense, there’s a takeaway for you to start moving forward in your life. And I just want to flip that on Ted. The reality of it is every new habit, everything that’s identified from a place of awareness and intentionality to help you move forward is not a cost.

[00:15:44.290] – Brian

It’s not an expense. It’s an investment in your future self that will pay the greatest dividends in your life if you actually understand how it connects to everything in your life, including your business, including your relationships, including your investment, including your wealth. These are all connected to our internal gate.

[00:15:59.190] – Sean

I would love to hear your thoughts on this, which is when suffering happens in your life. I’ve grown to believe this doesn’t always happen, but I’ve grown to believe it’s there for a purpose, and it’s not fun, but it’s there to help you make an impact on your family and your friends, people you don’t know in the future. And you get to these points in life that things become difficult, and then they become really difficult, and then they become even more difficult. And that’s that moment like, Oh, shoot, like, I’m really in the valley of death here. I’m dying. But you almost have to flip the switch and be like, okay, this is here for a reason. I’m here to learn. How do you put yourself in a calm mindset at that point to be like, okay, Depress, accept it. We’re going to work our way out of this. How do you do that?

[00:16:52.300] – Brian

Yeah, so there’s obviously a lot of ways that I could answer this, because it looks a little different for every person, but I love what you just said because here’s what I believe. I believe that pain points us to what’s important if we’re choosing to listen. And so part of the reason we ask you to embrace pain is to if you identify it early enough and recognize what feedback is giving you so that you pay attention to what it’s pointing you towards, then you start identifying those pains you’re tending to avoid so that you truly can mitigate and avoid suffering in your life. Because you’re right, sometimes you start to notice it, but it starts to creep up and get even more there, and we don’t know necessarily how to move through it. So what you just hit on, though, is a very relevant question, and there’s a lot that has to be said about our breath. And so we also work with individuals on a very deep level to understand their emotional triggers, help them become aware of them, own it, help them unread it, and help them move through it. And so often it’s these moments that we start to reclaim our ability to see ourselves more clearly and see the situation for what it really is versus what our triggers convincing us it’s connected to.

[00:17:51.510] – Brian

Triggers are those things that literally transport us to a place that we don’t actually see as reality. It’s that moment that your wife implies that you loaded the dishwasher incorrectly or you could have done it better. And really your reaction has nothing to do with her and everything to do with how your grandpa looked at you when you were four, right? And how often and how quickly that transports you to a cure certain place. Or for example, how my wife would simply ask a little question like, hey, babe, what are we going to do with the kids this weekend? But because being a husband and father is the most important thing in my world, I hear it through my shame lens, which this is what I heard, you haven’t done enough to be a good husband and father recently, so what are you going to do to make up for it this weekend? So I’d transfer to a place of defensiveness and then I’d react and rattle off the ten things I’ve done in the last week to show her that I’ve been a good husband and father, even though that had nothing to do with what she asked.

[00:18:31.260] – Brian

So the reality is it’s these moments that create damage that often lead us to create repairs. So what you’re asking is how do we get ahead of that? How do we make sure that we’re in a position that those things don’t happen? It starts with awareness, because we can’t be intentional with what we’re unaware of. What we know is that our minds process 11 million bits of information per second. We’re only consciously aware of about 40. So it’s no wonder that so many people feel like they’re victims, like life is fate, like they have no influence or control over their destiny. Because until you go through a systematic process of the unconscious conscious, the unaware of the aware, it’s going to feel like you’re a victim. And like life is faith. But when you can start to move from a position of awareness, you can then be intentional in how you see these things. And so now I’ve done a lot of deep work to understand my shame, to understand elements of the anger that I dealt with in periods of my life where I’ve created damage and where those have held me back. And so now my wife can ask me a question, but I’m very aware of how these things move through my body and so if I feel a trigger hit, I can pause literally in that moment and just communicate to her, hey, babe, what you just said triggered me.

[00:19:28.010] – Brian

And I don’t think that what I heard is accurate. So can you either repeat it or if it was accurate and I’m not hearing it correctly, maybe I can calm myself down and we can revisit this conversation later. Our breath is incredibly powerful. In fact, I have trust surrender breeze tattooed on my left arm for a very specific reason. I’m kind of dense. I need visual reminders to help me through these things. And so when I feel those moments of overwhelm, when I feel those moments of pressure that you indicated, truly that is the greatest thing that I do is center myself in my breath. Now, I’m not going to go through the breath work that I typically teach. Sure. But the reality of it is that we know that the four x four breathing mechanism that you can do without anybody identifying has been studied and used by the Navy Seals for years and is the most effective thing at counting the human stress response next to bally. And so centering ourselves just in our breath for just a moment allows us to pause just long enough to ask ourselves, what I’m reacting to?

[00:20:15.230] – Brian

Is what I’m overwhelmed by? Is what I’m feeling the pressure by right now accurate to this moment? Or is it because of the dynamics of what’s going on in life or the condition things that were put in me through my traditional triggers and patterns? And in those moments, we can start to create new pathways, new neural pathways and new patterns with the way we communicate so we can move through them. And so pausing is always the best place if you are feeling resistance and energy drain. I’m a big believer in pause center in your breath because everything we teach is about reducing the pressure and noise, reducing the resistance and energy drain that people experience so they can live with more freedom in everything they do.

[00:20:49.040] – Sean

Yes, I love it. Great points there. I know a lot of people, they get into a stressful circumstance and they keep trying to push and force and go faster and there’s a way out. The horizon is right there and it’s just causing more problems. And as I’ve gotten older, I tried to slow down even the little things. Like I’m driving on the highway on a Sunday where you have your best drivers on the road, right, they’re going 45 and a 65. And I’m the guy that’s like, oh, come on, you’re killing me here, right? And I got to take a step back and be like, is this me? Am I the problem here? In most cases, yes.

[00:21:27.270] – Brian

One of my good friends gave a quote about six months ago. He’s a guy named Alex Sharp, and he’s just incredible. And he said, if you’re constantly putting out fires in your life, in your business, there’s a good chance you’re the arsonist.

[00:21:36.240] – Sean

Yes.

[00:21:37.180] – Brian

What you just hit on though, is a great way that I operate in the world for a long time. And this is going to get a little bit more abstract than ethereal for just 2 seconds. But my doing self always overpowered my being self, right? If there’s a problem in front of me, what do I do to fix it, what action can I take to fix it, what can I do? And in reality, so many things, just given the gift of time, end up actually working themselves out. You’re a great example of like, oh jeez, we’re feeling all the pressure on the market. What do I do? How do I put my money out? How do I protect it? Right? It’s a scarcity element of like, how do I protect what I need? It’s action thinking that we’re going to dilute what is actually going on, when in reality, the gift of time will work itself out. So in December, great example of this. Look, I had a big coaching contract, multiple six figures. We’d already been working with them for six months and we were having profound, deep work with their team. They were going through a board meeting.

[00:22:28.180] – Brian

The CFO got it approved and in the budget. The day after the board meeting, the CEO called me. She hadn’t communicated with the CFO and said that it didn’t make it in the budget in time for this. And they pulled the rug out from under us. Now, I could have reacted and like, oh geez, that’s a big dollar amount. That’s going to really impact our world. But the other thing is that I had a very solid relationship entering into my world at that same time that had this energy connected to it. Someone who could provide resources if we needed them, connections, relationships, and then upward trajectory for our business. So I could have sat and focused on what do I do to fix this contract? Or I could release it and recognize that this is happening for a reason and let me just let it be. Now. I had to go from panic and overwhelming that moment to defusing and neutralizing that energy within about 2 hours. Here’s the crazy part, though. Had I stayed connected to that, had I suffocated that deal, had I tried to hold on to it, then nothing good would have come.

[00:23:23.760] – Brian

I promise you that.

[00:23:25.060] – Sean

Right?

[00:23:25.440] – Brian

But instead I released it. 30 minutes after I actually energetically released it. I committed to it intellectually and emotionally to say, guys, this is happening for a reason. I said this to my team. It’s happening for a reason. This is going to be a blessing. We are being protected and promoted in the universe. This isn’t a test. Like, let’s just understand where this goes. 30 minutes after I released the energy, I got a call and magic happened in our world through this other relationship. But again, it’s a matter of if I had to do something, I would have suffocated it. But because I let it be, I let it breathe. And what I know is, the more I can be, the more I am.

[00:23:57.800] – Sean

Yes, I love a few points you made in there is this innate drive to control things. You want to control, you want to solve problems, you want to fix things. And you’re right. Like that stock market metaphor was spot on analogy, that it’s the best situation, or in those circumstances, to stop, just stop and let it be. And in the stock market, that’s the absolute truth. It’s not timing the market, it’s time in the market.

[00:24:29.020] – Brian

Correct.

[00:24:29.770] – Sean

That’s good.

[00:24:31.510] – Sean

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[00:25:41.190] – Sean

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[00:26:15.530] – Sean

I’d like to talk a little bit and get your thoughts on delayed gratification, which can be great for investors as well as entrepreneurs. You’re putting in a lot of work now, and you’re putting in the work and putting in the work, and things aren’t happening as fast as you can. How do you train your mindset to keep that long term focus and not to tear away from it?

[00:26:35.790] – Brian

Yeah, so I don’t want this to sound like cliche, but I’m really big on detaching from the outcome because we don’t have control over that. And identifying the momentum and the winds towards the actions that we can control. And so for me, one of the big things that we do with a lot of our coaching clients and this is what I do in my life, look, I can’t control if somebody’s going to buy from us. I can’t control if somebody’s going to invest in their world. I literally have no control outside of this stuff. So if what I recognize is that, look, if I know that I’ve built my life of intentional alignment, I’ve broken it down because I begin with the end in mind. I understand my vision, I understand my annual theme, I understand my quarterly emphasis. I understand the things I can do daily to move myself in the direction of who I’m becoming and who I’m planning to impact through the work that we’re doing. Then what I can do is recognize that those actions and activities are things that I can celebrate so that I’m getting wins on a daily basis, right?

[00:27:22.280] – Brian

So for example, Jesus, this morning was a perfect example. The reality of it was we had a couple of things that happened in our business in the last month that hurt financially. I told you about one six months ago. It happens. Business owners, this happens. We don’t have control. We can put ourselves in the best position possible to create the opportunities and the sustainability. But again, when market crashes, people get scarce, they’re worried about their money, they also start pulling back in investments in other ways. And so if we know this right, we can literally sit here and say, oh geez, we’re going to measure our success based on the top line revenue in our business every single day or we can measure it on the number of conversations that we’ve had to create impact for us. We chase impact and income always follows. And when we can detach from that, we recognize that if we focus on the money, we’re actually putting an energetic block to that. Whereas if we focus on the impact, the value, the relationships and what we can add into people’s lives, then that will take place. And so this morning I had a string full of calls from people that I’m going to call prospective coaching clients.

[00:28:19.750] – Brian

But I go into those calls just to serve no expectation on where it’s going to go. Can I add value to them? Can I help them see something in the 15 to 20 minutes that I have them on the call that they may not see otherwise and being completely detached from the fact that if that adds value in their life and they don’t need me beyond that conversation, awesome. Because those that are going to invest further in themselves will substantiate all the growth we need. We know this, it’s been proven over time. But I literally had to recognize, look, if I add value into their life today, that’s a win. That’s a win for me because my goal is to impact a billion lives as quickly as possible. And so if I have ten conversations in a day and I leave every one of those where they’ve taken something from it, where they can be better with who they are and who they’re going to impact, that’s what I can control. So I’m a big believer in detaching from the outcome of which we don’t have control of. I am a big believer in planning for the outcome, creating the systems, the processes and the things that we can take and have control over from an action that will guide there but recognize that we may need to pivot on that path.

[00:29:13.330] – Brian

It may look different when we actually get there, but what I can control is what’s right in front of me. This breath, this moment, right now, so I can add value wherever I am.

[00:29:21.390] – Sean

I love your focus on impact and I wish we saw more of that within a lot of businesses that we either do business with or buy from today. To give you an example, and customers probably don’t know this about me is when I was in my twenty s, I had an agency completely broke through the recession and it was focused on that next contract, that next project, that next dollar and it wasn’t focused on the customer. Now at the same time, I did not love the business model. I got like six months to a year into it and I’m like, I don’t like this business model. I don’t want to build it, I don’t want to work on it. Did it another three years, hated it. But it was a huge lesson learned that if I’m going to do this again, do something that you really love. So regardless if it’s making money or not, you’re still having a blast. And that took a while to get there for me. But sounds like in your situation you’re super passionate about what you do.

[00:30:18.570] – Brian

I do love what I do. I’m living every single day as a manifestation of who I am. And it’s just cool how it grows through our world. But dude, that was no different. I spent 15 years in an industry that didn’t align with me, that didn’t light me up, but I had a chance to make a lot of money and I did and we were successful and it was great. But what it cost me because I wasn’t smart enough to get out three years in, I stayed in a lot longer because I believe that’s what I needed to do based on what the world told me I should do and who I should be to manifest the what’s in the world that I wanted, what house, what car, what amount of money, what it cost me is at 27 years old, I woke up having accomplished all the things financially that I set for my life truly at 27. And I don’t say that to brag. I say to say what it cost me was who I was. Right. Allowing me to have the perpetual growth moving forward.

[00:31:00.360] – Sean

Nice. Great advice. Before we jump into the final round here, it’s rapid fire round where we get to know who Brian really is. Is there anything else you’d like to share with audience?

[00:31:11.210] – Brian

Yeah, I would. I think that there’s a lot of people who are waiting for someone to come save them, for a hero to ride in on a white horse and just make sure that everything in their life is going to be okay. Right? I mean, that’s why so many people are going out and buying seven sub systems to learn how to create seven sub systems, to learn seven step systems to build more seven step systems for success. Right. Thank you. And I say that in jest, obviously, but what I want to be clear on is that nobody’s coming. But what I want to encourage each and every one of you is the fact that you’re here today, you’re listening to this today means that you’re not only a survivor, but that you actually have the ability to move yourself into a position where you can become your own savior, your own guide, your own hero. And so if you have blocks where you don’t understand, where you’re being stuck in your life, you don’t understand where these patterns continue to develop, you don’t understand the environments that are preventing you from becoming who you’re capable of being, then ask for help from a guide.

[00:31:56.710] – Brian

And this isn’t a pitch to go hire a coach, because I think 95% of people aren’t ready for a coach. But the reality of it is, ask those people in your life for feedback. What is one thing that you could take from my life insert into yours that would add it more beneficial? What’s one thing that I do that you think creates damage in my world that’s preventing me from growing who I want to become? Ask, be open, become aware and intentional. Because you can save yourself and move from just surviving to thriving. And that is what we all have the ability to do. But it starts inside, not outside.

[00:32:24.300] – Sean

Right on. Awesome advice, Brian. That’s amazing. Well, let’s get to it. Let’s jump into the Rapid Fire round. We’re going to find out who Brian really is. We know a lot about you, but we’re going to go a step further here.

[00:32:35.180] – Brian

Let’s do it.

[00:32:36.080] – Sean

Alright, so if you can, try to answer each question in 15 seconds or less.

[00:32:40.200] – Brian

Done. Ready?

[00:32:41.510] – Sean

All right. What’s your favorite podcast?

[00:32:46.670] – Brian

That is a really good question. I am going to tell you that it is the Play Book by David Meltzer.

[00:32:52.770] – Sean

Nice.

[00:32:53.930] – Sean

All right.

[00:32:54.340] – Sean

What is the recent book you read and would recommend?

[00:32:57.050] – Brian

The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer. All right.

[00:32:59.960] – Sean

Favorite movie? Probably Hangover Hangover Curveball. I did not see that coming.

[00:33:05.670] – Brian

I know. It is a fun movie, and I’ll tell you my wife and I watched it the day that we got engaged. And so it’s become a tradition where we watch it every year on the same day. There’s a special sentimental connection there.

[00:33:17.960] – Sean

Yes. That’s fun.

[00:33:19.340] – Brian

All right. You don’t think of that as a romantic movie, right?

[00:33:21.850] – Sean

No. Well, what it does tell me, though, and this is why I ask a few questions that are kind of businessy and some that are personal, is when somebody says the movie I do know them because I’m a total movie nerd. I have a better idea of what kind of person they are. That sounds weird, but no, I get it, right? Like, when somebody comes to me and says, all my favorite movies was it a boss? I’m like, Okay, so we’ve got an old soul here. We like classic films, we appreciate things of history. And then somebody says they like, Tommy Boy. I’m like, Okay, all right, so you were 90s, kid. I get it. All right, so here’s two business questions. One is, what is the best business advice you’ve ever received?

[00:34:06.130] – Brian

There is no limit to what one can accomplish as long as they care not who gets the credit.

[00:34:10.710] – Sean

I love that. That’s profound. We’re going to flip the equation. What is the worst business advice you ever received?

[00:34:19.230] – Brian

Hustle. And grind. Yeah.

[00:34:23.370] – Sean

I was just going to say hustle. I had a feeling you were going to say hustle.

[00:34:27.600] – Brian

That drives don’t get me wrong, I hustle, but it’s all in moderation, right?

[00:34:33.150] – Sean

Drives me nuts. Oh, man. Won’t say any names, but I think.

[00:34:37.300] – Brian

We know a few that really got this.

[00:34:40.450] – Sean

Yeah. All right. And now we’re going to hop in the DeLorean. We’re going to take the time machine back in time. Could you tell us about what is an age you would visit and what would you tell yourself at that age?

[00:34:55.830] – Brian

This one’s hard to answer in 15 seconds, but I’ll try very hard. I would visit myself post accident, and I would probably visit age eight a year after the accident. And I would probably encourage and support that everything I need is already inside of me and to listen to my internal voice and tune down the external noise of the world.

[00:35:16.390] – Sean

Awesome. Great advice, Brian. Well, why don’t you tell the audience where they can reach you?

[00:35:21.470] – Brian

If you are on social media, you can go to Brian on any channel. You can find us there. If you’re a website person, go to Brian Bogart.com. You can enter into all the aspects of our world, all the different businesses, and then with your permission, can I give a gift to the audience as well?

[00:35:35.060] – Sean

Please do, yeah.

[00:35:36.410] – Brian

And I’m going to give a giant caveat when I say a gift, there’s no gimmicks, there’s no anything. There’s a free course that we developed. It’s over 30 minutes. Video content begins all the way through the first chapter of our long form course. You exchange an email to get access to it. Yes, you get a couple of emails and communication through the course of completing it, and yes, you’ll get four emails at the end outlining opportunities. Now you have full disclosure and transparency. The only thing I care is if something moved you, even if you decide not to go further with it, move it through the world. Because moved people move people, and we need as much help as we can get to getting that collective impact of a billion lives.

[00:36:09.250] – Sean

Nice, Brian. This was very helpful. Thank you so much for your intel here, your story, everything. This is amazing.

[00:36:17.970] – Brian

Thank you, my friend.

[00:36:19.140] – Sean

All right, we’ll see you. Hey, I just want to say thanks for checking out this podcast. I know your time is valuable and there’s a lot of other podcasts out there you could be listening to. So thanks for taking the time to listen to my guest story. If you did enjoy this podcast episode, could you head over to itunes and leave a five star review? That would be much appreciated. Thank you. And last but not least on this podcast, some episodes we do talk about stocks. And please keep in mind, this podcast, this for entertainment purposes only. So if you did hear any buy or sell recommendations, please don’t make those decisions based solely on what you hear. All right, thanks a lot.

[00:37:01.900] – Brian

See you.